Tony

That was his name. Tony.

I went to high school with Tony. He was a grade ahead. We went to a tiny school where everyone not only knows everyone else but is also related. His family had one of those last names everyone knew.

But Tony didn’t care who you were, he was always the kindest person in the room.

I remember when I found out he had brain cancer. Terminal. I thought he was kidding at first because he said it all while laughing and joking.

If you think I’m upbeat, you should have met Tony.

He died of brain cancer the other day at 37.

We weren’t best friends nor did we keep in touch over the years. But I will always remember how kindly he treated me and everyone else he met. He was always so kind and funny. I remember his laugh and his beautiful eyelashes everyone was jealous of. A big, charismatic grin. Everyone loved Tony because he had a way of making you feel welcome. Seen. And boy, was he a charmer.

The kids have been talking a lot about death lately. Between me and their grandma, those kids have been through a lot. I assure them it’s going to be a while.

But then there’s always the why question. Why Tony and not me? We compare personalities and qualities but at the end of the day, none of that matters. Cancer happens without warning. You don’t get to choose how far it spreads. I feel so lucky to have a “good” kind of cancer. One that’s curable. I get to live.

Tony lived, too, just in a shorter time span.

Live your life like you want. Don’t get to the end filled with regrets. Love hard. Apologize sincerely. Keep moving forward. And find the silver linings. We all know life is short; it sneaks up on you when you least expect it to. Don’t let it slip by.

Rest easy, Tony.