The Waiting Game

I know Laura will write her own post about this, but since most of you will be in the same boat that I am – being on the waiting side – I thought I’d share my own experience from today.

We’re here in Rochester at Mayo, which as Laura has said before is like its own city within the city. It’s pretty cool, but also overwhelming. It does help to have another person with you to navigate, especially if you’re anxious about what you’re doing here (which, if you’re here, you likely are).

We arrived last night to be ready for all of today’s appointments. First up, the breast ultrasound. Laura is taking part in a study to determine how effective the chemo is (very cool, and we all know how much Laura loves data!). So that was first, pretty quick, and easy – they wouldn’t let me go in for that or any of the appointments (COVID and small rooms). Ultimately, you do end up facing a lot of this alone, but I like picturing all of us as this ever-widening web of support throughout the country and maybe the globe, that is sending all of our love through to Laura and her family. And to each other, frankly, because we all need it too.

Next up, this morning’s biopsy – supposed to be a lung biopsy to determine what the spot was that Mayo had seen on her PET scan. To say that all of us were stressed out about that was an understatement. Cancer on Laura’s lung would mean stage 4 and that’s…not great. So I know everyone was sending good vibes, praying to all of their gods, meditating, visualizing, doing interpretive dances, and we needed all of it.

We arrived, and they wouldn’t let me go in with her, so I settled in to waiting room number two.

They signed me up to get text alerts so I’d know where Laura was throughout the process, and then I could text everyone else that I needed to. Then, the waiting and waiting began. I worked and obsessively checked my phone, but nothing for a WHILE. Finally, she was in surgery!

Then, a few minutes later, she was in recovery! As I was typing that in a text to Josh, she was walking out!

They didn’t even do the biopsy – there was a lot of hoopla around not allowing her to be sedated because of her second two biopsies (because she needed to sign paperwork for them, and you can’t legally sign paperwork following sedation – and they wouldn’t walk that paperwork over from the other building – they said she’d have to undergo the procedure WITHOUT SEDATION. But with lidocaine, of course). However, as they described it, she was going to have to hold her breath at a certain point, and there were serious risks of bleeding, coughing up blood, collapsing over the next 48 hours, etc. All of that sounded GREAT. She was, understandably, upset about that possibility and what it all might mean.

But when they got her in the CT, everything was clear and they decided they didn’t need to do it at all – it must have been a shadow caused by a cold – CUE RELIEF FROM EVERYONE IN ALL CORNERS.

After that, we ran to Caribou quickly so this poor gal could get something in her stomach, and we were back to the Gonda building now for biopsy two – this time, a skin biopsy, which is really just a double-check and that no one believes will show anything.

They took about 8mm of skin, so yikes. But it’s good that they’re being so thorough – the folks at Mayo know their stuff, so I do feel very confident here, like they’re really taking good care of our girl, and we’ll really know where we’re at when we’re through with all these tests and results.

Everyone here has been so incredibly kind as we navigate this process, which is tense and overwhelming, I am exceptionally grateful to be able to be here with Laura – huge thanks goes out to Marcie for driving out from Ohio to stay with my blind dog for a week so that I could be here. This REALLY takes a village, and I know I’ve already described us as a web, but perhaps we’re more like strands in a blanket, being woven together, to wrap Laura and her family up in our support and love. Apologies for being sappy, but remember, I’m in yet another waiting room (and I had an actual caffeinated cup of coffee today). So remember that everything you’re all doing is another strand in that blanket helping to hold her up – thank you.

Following biopsy two, we ran down to floor two for ultrasound two (have you lost the thread here yet?). That one was snuck in before biopsy three.

This waiting room was packed because a lot of women were here for baseline mammograms. So it was quite the busy place.

It ended up that we were also here for biopsy number three, so this was the longest of the waiting, and it was the most of the poking and prodding that Laura had to undergo as well. Fortunately, once we were done there, we were done for the day, so we were able to zip on out and over to dinner so that Laura could finally get something substantial to eat after having just a bite of pumpkin bread around 11:00am. (Yes, I had snacks, but she was really in and out and up and down all day).

All in all, a long day, with more waiting to go until Laura gets the results of the second two biopsies. Friday, the port goes in, and then the next steps can start! Although today was long, the results started off well, so let’s hope that continues! Thanks to everyone who kept checking in throughout the day and keeping our web of support going!