Chemo Week

The weekend felt like the last of something. Being normal. Not being pumped full of drugs.

There was one night where I just couldn’t settle my mind down. I worried about all the work I wanted to get to. The lists I needed to make. The food I wanted to eat. Even with less than four hours of sleep, I was up and at ‘em the next morning.

That’s what I mean by the feeling passes relatively quickly. Bad night but not a bad day. Things don’t feel hopeless when I wake up. These are good things.

I’ve never done well with unknowns. I’m a planner, I even plan worst-case scenarios. Like all of ’em. Wondering about all of the possible ways my body will handle the chemotherapy. The responses seem vastly different, and I wonder which ones I’ll take on. I don’t realllllllly want to be unlucky like I normally am. Consider this: it’s my culinary week before I lose my taste buds and I effing will lose them anyway thanks to the cold I got from the kids.

please let this not be a theme!

As I’ve said before, it’s good to have a sense of humor about it. Or else you think someone’s out to get you. 😉

Now, other than feeling like I’m gonna barf from the anticipation of it, I think I’ve planned all the things possible. Planning things/scenarios make me feel prepared.

The lucky winner of the chemo-sitting lottery is Becky! This is going to be fun for both of us because

1. We both hate puke and
2. We’ve never met IRL.

You see, Lindsay and I are such good friends that now we know each other’s friends, and that’s where B comes in. We may or may not be in a group chat that came as a way to stay sane during quarantine. And we found a bit more than entertainment! (Entertainment as in Tiger King) THERE ARE TACO PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!

So Becky and I will distract ourselves with sarcasm and humor. I already worry about the other patients who might be trying to sleep. ? I would be the cancer patient who gets kicked out of chemo for being too loud. 😉