The Big C

If you’re here, you know I have breast cancer. It’s all happening very fast and there are a lot of unknowns. You know me and my writing so I had to create a space where I could write and inform the cheerleaders I’m so lucky to have.

And maybe for my kids for the future, should anything happen.

And that’s the biggest thing, right? Will anything happen? I worry there’s a time limit. But as my friends tell me, one day at a time.

It’s invasive ductal carcinoma and it’s in my lymph nodes.

It started a bit earlier in the year with some itching, followed by nipple discharge, followed by a mass. The mass was not there in January when I had my annual. My GP referred me for a mammogram (which, contrary to how my mom made it seem, was NOT bad). Then an ultrasound. Then I saw a surgeon who took 5 minutes to tell me that I needed a breast MRI. MRI shows concerning areas. Back to the imaging center for another ultrasound. They did an ultrasound-guided biopsy and took 5 little snippets. (boy, was that strange)

The next day, I had the diagnosis.

What’s next is a PET scan – a procedure which takes my insurance 10 DAYS to approve. I’m concerned this is growing too fast for that, so I’ll call and see what they can do. And then genetic testing. I’m only 36 – pretty young to have breast cancer. It’s likely genetic. The findings of that will help determine the treatment. But we’re looking at surgery and chemo.

Some amazing friends have some medical connections and are exploring the best places for treatment. I get the impression that what is happening to me isn’t typical. The mass in my breast didn’t show up on normal screening tests. Most people don’t have symptoms and then get diagnosed; usually, it’s through routine screening.

And if that makes me rare, then I want and need the best. Mayo is here, so I’m looking into that. There’s just so much to process and figure out and you just hope it goes well and that at some point, you’ll have joy back.

It’s been up and down and everywhere else. Part of me is feeling confident and there’s the other that does the worst-case scenrio planning.