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Survivorship (Or, Dealing with Long-Term Side Effects)
What does survivorship mean? It meant one thing to be pre-cancer and another thing entirely after. Before, it meant not getting cancer again. After? How to deal with the long-term side effects of cancer treatment. I read this NYTimes Opinion piece: “It Takes a Lifetime to Survive Childhood Cancer.” No, I’m not a child. But, I am a “young breast cancer survivor.” (You hear that an effing lot, how “young” you are.) Hopefully, I have a long life ahead of me. As a “young” patient, doctors throw the book at you. They don’t often deviate. You have this type of cancer, then here’s your regimen. Overtreatment of cancer doesn’t often…
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New Year, More Life
2023 was the year of chaos and radio silence. I had a lot of healing to do. I cannot emphasis enough that for some of us cancer survivors, the aftermath is worse is worse than the treatment. Or maybe it’s just because so much changed at that time. Who knows. It shouldn’t matter – people process trauma differently. We don’t all do it right, but there is no right. Radio Silence You know something’s wrong when I’m quiet. I haven’t quite known what to do with myself, what parts of me are bad or hurtful to others, what my worth is. Funny how I went from so much confidence from…
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New Oncologist = New Treatment Plan
In the July Update, I mentioned my lymph nodes had been feeling swollen. My regular oncologist didn’t think it was worth exploring even after bring it up at 3 different appointments. It doesn’t sit right when your doctor isn’t taking your concerns seriously, so I set up an appointment with a woman oncologist but the appointment wasn’t for another month and a half (yeah, that’s fun). I got concerned enough I messaged my general practitioner, who initially referred me for testing after I found a lump in my breast. She ordered an ultrasound and a CT scan because of how my breast cancer showed up (or didn’t, as the case…
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New Site, Who Dis?
If you’ve been here before, you’ll notice a new look and a new URL! Felt kinda weird having “titties” in the name when I don’t have them. And now that I’m entering into a new phase of my life (post-everything?), it was time to put a different spin on blogging. I’m planning to write about post-treatment life, being a single mom, and everything that life has to offer after the last life-altering 2 years. You’ll notice, too, there’s a Shop link. Turns out I like to design things, and as part of my business, I like selling online! In the shop, you’ll find humorous and fun apparel and office supplies…
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July Update
Howdy, friends! It’s been four months since my last confession. During which has been another whirlwind. It’s amazing the shit that can happen to you even when you’ve been through the ringer already. But hey, I’m like a cockroach. I keep coming back for more. Oddly, despite the increase in chaos, things seem clearer than ever. I’ve spent the last four months starting and running my own business, which has been more fun and satisfying than I would have thought. I like building and teaching. And I’ve got this business idea to help other legal professionals do what I did, and get out. Being at our annual industry conference earlier…
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Turn and Face the Strange
It seems that change is inevitable for me. I had a hard enough time keeping up with life during the pandemic, and then…you know. All the stuff. The Job The problem with having, like, 4 “full-time jobs” is that you legit can’t get them all done at once. This often seems to be thrust upon women. You have to be all the things – default parent, put-together single parent, inspiring cancer patient, household project manager…with an actual full-time job. The ability to handle it without question is the expectation, but that’s unattainble and unsustainable. With that in mind, I left my beloved job of eight years. It’s been scary. Terrifying,…
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Cancervesaries
WARNING: Chest photos! Turn back if you’re gonna be weird about it. 😉 I’ve been so busy with everything I forgot to remember that February 23, 2022, was my double mastectomy to an aesthetic flat closure! Aaaaaaand then I realized it also means I’ve been one year cancer-free. ???? NED NED = No Evidence of Disease. Or cancer-free. The surgery scraped out the last remnants of cancer, and so far, I haven’t felt any lumps or bumps, so I’m still considered cancer-free. This is fabulous, of course. As a survivor…you’re always kinda wondering when it’ll come back again. You can’t let it take over your life, but it’s important to…
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Chemoversary
January 24th, 2022, was the last time I had a chemo infusion. The main chemo, anyway. I’m not surprised the anniversary didn’t pop out at me. It’s kind of easy to forget, considering I want to forget. Leftover Symptoms A year out from the worst of chemo (chemo still technically continued until December 2022 with that Phesgo shot): The Aftermath I still get hot flashes which I had during chemo, but I think that’s due more to the stomach implant I get that suppresses ovary function. I physically feel good, for the most part. Not gonna lie, the kids and I have been sick like 95% of the winter so…
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The End of Active Treatment
After 14 months of cancer treatment, I am fucking DONE. At the beginning of this whole journey, I thought there’d be a concrete end date. A date I could point to and say, yeah, that’s the day it was over. I’ve found, through lots of support groups, that I am not alone in struggling how to define being done with treatment. Am I in remission? I’m not sure doctors even use that word anymore. Most of us consider NED (No Evidence of Disease) or “cancer free” to be the ultimate end result. So there’s that – the no disease part. Then there’s the treatment portion – active and maintenance. Most…
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A long update!
I keep meaning to check in. I’m kind of in the “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” mindset. Not that cancer was ever nice. Being separated sort of puts a weird spin on things, too. I’m not here to complain about that, either. It just makes things a lot more complicated. I passed up my “cancerversary,” but I don’t care about diagnosis. I think I’ll celebrate my year of being cancer-free at the end of February when I had the double mastectomy; that seems like a good thing to celebrate. I’d love to say I’m done with “active” treatment, but I am not. COVID and several other illnesses…
